When I was young, some time between third and sixth grade, a thought got into my head. It stuck around until I entered high school.
I thought there was a thread tied to me. It grew as I walked and I could trace it back to wherever I'd been.
It was a thread that could never be cut. However, I feared it would get tangled up or run out (though I've forgotten why it was so important to me). Since the thread would retract if I walked back along the path, I became rather compulsive about going back the same way I came. Take a walk around the house? I have to go back around the other way the same number of times.
It was an odd part of my life.
I still feel that way, sometimes. Like that thread is there. Maybe it's running out as I walk. But it's not like I can retrace my entire life and get it back. I probably didn't get back the thread I tried to collect back then, either. Most likely, it's rolled up and tied into a series of little knots somewhere along the path.
And since I can't get it back, I stopped worrying about it.
But I think about it every now and then, the thread I used to imagine so vividly. What made me think about it to begin with?
Maybe I'm just worrisome by nature.
Anyway, I've been dealing with a lot of life things this past month and have no idea what's good or not. Frankly, I feel I've lost some great battle. The things that usually make me happy are only stressing me more.
On the other hand, I scripted the first chapter to Miles's story and I'm almost done with Monsters. Don't know when I'll be able to finish either, but small victories.
Very, very small victories.
Trying to stay optimistic is hard right now.
Life will work out, as it always does, but trying to make it work is like rollerskating uphill. I suck at rollerskating.
Well, there are some things that are starting to work in my favor.
Wish me luck, if you can.